Monday, April 1, 2013

Bison Zucchini Garlic Lasagna


Bikini bodies aren't made in June, but neither is lasagna so while it’s still raining out let’s talk about cheesy noodly goodness and how to create it.

I have to give half the credit to the handsome fellow pictured below who managed to get his feedback included in the final result, because he sneakily got me drunk…allow me to explain.

First, ingredients:
No boil noodles
Ground bison, buffalo or, wait for it… beefalo (totally a thing)
Whole milk ricotta
Zucchini
Onion
Mozzarella (buffalo milk style if you have it, because it’s delicious and themes are nifty)
Pasta sauce
Fresh garlic
Red chili flakes

How I accidentally let someone help me make dinner:

Preheat the oven to 350 (grab a beer, because cooking should be fun, casual and carefree)

Brown ground bison with some garlic, salt, and red chili flakes (if someone tosses garlic salt in the pan, suppress your need to control, wonder to yourself if cooking with a buddy could be neat, and take another sip to calm your fears that garlic salt might have just ruined your entire life)  


Grate zucchini and chop onions then brown in a pan with a bit of olive oil or butter. Add a little salt and pepper to taste and set aside (if someone suggests you add additional garlic here, have another sip or two and encourage that kind of creative thinking. Then examine the situation carefully because someone is clearly trying to make vampire-slaughtering lasagna over here…but why?)


In a large casserole dish (that is shaped like a damn fishbowl because it’s all you could find at this bachelor pad and so now you pop another Stella while you try and figure out how to make this work)

Layer in: pasta sauce, noodles, ricotta, zucchini, bison cheese and repeat, ending with hefty cheese coverage. (As you layer, allow someone to help you. If they suggest nibbling the dry, uncooked edges of the noodle sheets in order to shape them to fit in the casserole dish, you go with it, because somehow this turned into a drinking game of chug a beer every time I lose a little more control of this dinner and now I’m too wasted to protest eating cardboard) 


Pretend not to notice when he picks up on your little drinking game and joins you. His game seems to be drink when your lady friend begins displaying signs of mounting anxiety. 
Let bake for 60 minutes. (Watch an episode or two of the real housewives and get your shit together. Maybe the lasagna wont taste like garlic drywall and you can invite this “cooking as a duo” idea into your life. Then you open another Stella, curl up on the couch with your little puppy and think to yourself, this is why I only cook with my dog)

Then! You find out the lasagna is actually delicious and garlic had the audacity to outshine the bison. You give your gentleman friend a high five and wonder if you are in fact, crazy. 



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